First time, Last time....

the first time i fell in love was at a concert....didn't know it....if i did, i didn't accept it....didn't want to appreciate it....i wanted to lose it.....figured it wasn't for me....it never had been....why would this time be different....simply exceptional, he was.....he is what i have wanted....what i have dreamed of....but dreams are just reality's nightmares....and everything that has a beginning has an end....so fear has me pulling me back....i will lose this battle....but hopefully win the war....his words, melodic.....his touch, erotic....his sound, exotic....the first time i fell in love was at a concert....wonder if it will be the last.

Routine

in a room full of people, you are still alone....loneliness becomes routine.....and realizing that you have never had anyone around will make u accept all your bad habits....smoking, drinking, cheating, lying.....one sin is no less than the other....but you are human.....you ask for forgiveness everynight....but routine catches up to you the next morning....you just hope that this day is not your last cause routine has done her due diligence....some people are for a season.....that season could make or break your habits.....that person could love you forever or hate you till death....which one do you choose?....the plethora of people you love in your lifetime....you fall in and out of love everyday....you are heartbroken....you leave another heartbroken....and still hope for forgiveness....its your routine....and when do you break this routine?.....only time will tell.....or only you can get tired of it.....which one do you choose.....both will leave you heartbroken.....but like everything else in life, change is the only constant....so while you break one routine, you will adapt to another.....until that one catches up to you.....and you are lost in the cycle.....the cycle of routine.

Pissed.....

Its funny how the people you love the most can bring out the best and worst of you in a matter of seconds....suddenly, the world revolves around them and the laughs you guys shared a couple of minutes ago is nothing but a distant memory....which one of you will say their mind? which one will back down? which one is right? which one is wrong? at this point, it doesn't matter to me.....i feel like shit....

"in most of your talking, thinking is half-murdered"- Khalil Gibran

Sometimes I wonder if people are offended by my bluntness...if they are, I am sorry...but most of the time i could careless...I inhertied the gene from my mother who believes that speaking your mind is the key to survival...and since this world is based on survival of the fittest, I continue to speak my mind...I have no intention to fit in, I have every intention to stand out...I am who i am and not who they want me to be...They want me to be like them....but they don't even realize what them stands for...if its so hard to accept me, then let me be...Stop mistaking my bluntness for rudeness...Do understand it as my truth...You should try accepting it as your truth as well...But since its very evident that my truth hurts, please continue to ignore it...Cause I continue to pay you no mind...Since I am who I am and not who you want me to be...Persuade yourself to believe that you are better than me since you fit in ...And while you carry conversations about how rude i am, let my bluntness remind you that "in most of your talking, thinking is half-murdered."

I want to be like....

I want to be like Frost so I can take the road less travelled
in the hopes of finding myself
cause with every year that comes around
I lose myself in the year that passed me by
I want to be like Emerson so I can take the road of self-reliance
in the hopes of losing dependence
cause with every sip of alcohol I take
I lose myself in the year that passed him by
You see, I would rather be like Frost and Emerson
cause I fear that someday i will become like him
Lately it seems that fatherhood is a road less travelled by many men
refusing to become self-reliant and depending on women to raise their sons
forgetting what part they played 9 months ago to create a child
a child that will bear their last name but will never know them
So i choose to have my name changed to Feven Frost Emerson
cause the one I have right now brings back bitter memories
I'm tired of being tied down to a hopeless name
So i choose to take the road less travelled and find self-reliance along the way.

Khalil Gibran

You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts; And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a past time. And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.

-Khalil Gibran

Overwhelm me!

Cause you overwhelm me
I need to care less
want to be careless
but you won't allow it
so i continue to care more
Cause you overwhelm me
go to sleep inspired
wake up discouraged
Cause you overwhelm me
something is always missing
need to solve the puzzle
but where are all the pieces?
Cause you overwhelm me
waiting for all the pieces to come to place

Untitled

It's that feeling you have when you know it's over.....eventhough you don't want it to end.....wishing you could turn back the hands of time.....but you can't work against the forces of nature.....so you just let go....realize how tired you have become from trying to pull.....accept that you are lonely....wonder if it will be like this forever....imagine what it would be like if you had someone.....but you have nothing to compare it to......cause you have never had anyone....you have always been alone.....maybe you are meant to be alone.....start wondering if there is something wrong with you....and you realize that there is....the problem is THEM.

My Sweet Love

One of my friends' happens to be a hip-hop artist/producer who goes by HashBrown....did a song called Love Supreme after sampling Anita Baker's "Sweet Love"....i heard the sample and go inspired.....the results of my inspiration are as follows....ENJOY!


I love hip-hop cause she is so simple and pure
but still intricate as ever
she knows me like no other
was there for me when rock bottom was all i could see
was down for me when i wasn't down for myself
however i'm not down for hip hop's new age
cause her value has been lost
in the search for money and power
eventhough HashBrown, The Council and T.H.E.M remind me of her finest hour
flashy words don't make me falter
so while dudes are trying to make money off her
i'm wanting to get high off her
i'm lost without her
and she is not the same without me
like Common said "i used to love h.e.r"
funny thiing is, i still do
she is still MY SWEET LOVE

Failure!

I hate failing....
but i guess it's a process of life...
so i'm always down for a second try.